Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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