she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
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My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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