$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
