my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
