Porn is love you can see.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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