So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
