lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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