okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
