I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
