that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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