Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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