hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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