so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
