If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
