Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize