making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Im part way to drunk.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
