I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
