I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
