I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
