Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize