I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
