you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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