i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i think my cat just said my name.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
