i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
