The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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