i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
