I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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