so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
