if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
