I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
