Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
