why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my sisters under your porch take her home
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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