It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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