So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
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She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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