So drunk its hurt
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
