Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
