He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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