so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
