Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
