You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He felt like a one man threesome
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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