? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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