Small penises have feelings too.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
