at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
