Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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