Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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