she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
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You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
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Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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