Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
