I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
