I hope mine doesn't look like that
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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