ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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