She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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