As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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