Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
