Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
