They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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