Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
