Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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